Response to the Gift of Wonder

I receive feedback and responses to my posts regularly. Thank you! You know who you are. However, today I received a very special letter in response to my post ‘The Gift of Wonder.” This letter pulled some heartstrings and made my soul smile. There is indeed hope for my son to grow up decent, loving and kind albeit his circumstance. Thank you, Mr. Anonymous. Below is his letter – posted with permission.

Hi Velvet! I was thinking about starting a blog, and I remember seeing on Facebook that you have one, so I dropped by to see what you're writing about. I stumbled upon your blog post about meeting up with C.

We've never really been close. If you think about it, we're not really much more than acquaintances, but you've always been kind to me. This is why it saddened me to see how you feel about love and marriage now, after what you've been through.

I'm not married yet. To that point, I have to admit that I'm not experienced. I would like to think, however, that I've had my share of pain in my life. My last breakup was so bad, I lost over 20 pounds in just over a week (yes, that's how I lost weight. Not some diet or whatnot). One cheating girlfriend destroyed me, almost completely. I became cynical, jaded. I didn't think I'd ever be in a serious relationship again. But eventually, even though I changed, I also healed.

But that's not what I really want to tell you. What really caught my attention was you asking 'Ok now, do you know how difficult it is to actually find someone worth marrying AND who would love my son as his own?'

I have two things I want to tell you.

I'm an only child raised by a single mom. My mom didn't marry my dad, because he didn't take care of his annulment at the time (he was separated). Although my mom did date later on, she never found someone who she felt was worth the trouble. But, she is very happy.

The first thing I want to tell you, is you don't have to find someone. You can certainly make it on your own, and live a happy and fulfilled life. You can make your son the center of your world, and you'll both be happy.

In 2006, I had a girlfriend who was a single mom. Her son was only 6 months old when we started going out, and we were together for about two and a half years. We were planning to get married, but things didn't quite work out.

My current girlfriend is a single mom. She's turning 40 this year, and her daughter is turning 22. We're hoping to get married by the end of the year.

I also have several friends who are involved with single moms, and have long term plans with them.

The second thing I want to tell you, is that should you decide to share your life with a man, there are still good people out there who will accept and love not only you, but also your son.

I'm sure you're in pain. I can only imagine what you must be going through. Learn your lessons, make the changes you need to. I know that it's so hard to be optimistic through all the bullshit we have to deal with in life. Always remember, however, that the world is still a beautiful place, and still has many beautiful people. Even men ☺

I hope what I wrote will help you, even in a small way. If you ever want to ask me anything, just holler. All the best!

Here's an excerpt of my response to his email:

Thank you. :)

Hug your mommy for me. 

My one great wish is to raise P the way your mom has raised you.

Good luck with the wedding prep, dear.

You know how I feel about marriage but guys like you are worth the risk of promising an ‘ever after’ with.

Your fiancee is very blessed. I’m happy you found each other. :)

Best wishes to both of you.

Much love and respect,

Velvet