I don't get to watch TV... adult TV that is. Wait. Not porn. Oh dear, not porn. Grown up TV. Shows that do not involve talking animals or people who sing and dance every 2 minutes. Shows that regular people over the age of 10 watch. That kind of TV.
You see, I pay for cable so I can ignore the other channels and just watch Disney Junior with my son. Every. Single. Day. Yes. I am complaining. But today, after an afternoon at the mall, I made a bold move. I told my toddler that mommy will watch her TV show downstairs while he watches Disney Junior upstairs. It may have been because I fed him shabu-shabu three times this week or he was in such a good mood that it only took us 2 minutes to find the car in the parking lot today but for whatever reason my sweet boy said "okay." HE SAID "OKAY!" Oh God bless you, my little one!
I turn the TV on and change the channel (from Disney Junior) to HBO. I still remember the channel...thank you my not-so-short-term memory for not failing me this time.
JERRY MAGUIRE.
My heart starts to pound. Could it really be just about to start? Ooh this is so my day! A movie on HBO that I can actually watch from beginning to end. Someone pinch me.
Then I see her...Dorothy Boyd. Single mom with a little boy named Ray. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. I feel a tinge of fear build up. Not the kind of movie I want to watch now. I've seen this movie before. I know how this ends. Mush fest. Can I handle this?
Well, maybe if I watch it this time, I'll pick something up other than "You had me at hello" and "You complete me." Doubtful, I pick up the remote, aiming to channel surf. Nah. How often do you get to actually start a movie on HBO? Never, right? This was fate. I put the remote down and make myself some tea. Oh, this is going to be great.
Then I meet her. Laurel, Dorothy’s disapproving sister. She opens her mouth and sarcasm just fires out like bullets. I fall in love. She is now my new favourite Jerry-Maguire-character.
Her killer lines hit me strong. Oof.
"Dorothy, this is not a guy. It's a syndrome. Early mid-life. Hanging on to the bottom rung." -- Fair warning. Where was she when I was dating? Lol.
“Don't cry at the beginning of the date. Cry in the end, like I do.” – Such wit! How charming!
“You fuck this up, I’ll kill you.” – How can you not love her?
But Dorothy Boyd had her moment too. This was hers for me:
“I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.” – Nyikes! Okay. I admit. That got my blood pressure up a bit. Scary.
Not that I WANT to date again. Pfft.
Then Rod Tidwell says something magical. Let me paraphrase…
“First of all, single mothers don’t date. They don’t date. They’ve been to the circus. You know what I mean? They’ve been to the puppet show and they’ve seen the strings…. Single mother man, that’s a sacred thing.”
Wow. That got me. It’s true how a single mother can never really date again. It’s like watching a movie after you’ve read the book. No more surprises. The frills won’t thrill because you know what’s going to happen next. It’s really no fun when the mystery’s gone. So yeah, I guess I can never really date again. Kinda sad. But that’s fate. Time to drink some more tea. The pinot grigio in the fridge seems extra tempting. I fight the urge. Breathe. Okay. Time for some perspective.
I may not have the blissful, rose-colored kind of happiness but I have the peaceful, quiet kind. I’ve had bliss. It was nice. Short-lived but nice. Then it was followed by chaos. Not nice and not so short-lived. Then finally, peace. Beautiful, quiet, tranquil peace. The healthy nourishing kind and not the dead kind. **knocks on wood for good measure** The quiet kind of happy that still enlivens and still excites. Yes, I DO look forward to the future and I have big plans for me and my little love. The future excites me. Dating… not so much. But I guess that’s why they make Jerry-Maguire-movies, so single moms can date vicariously through the Dorothy Boyds. I’ll make sure to pour me a pinot grigio next time though. A chick flick paired with a good white is always a good idea.
No comments:
Post a Comment