A Hormonal Drive

Collide

I cried to a Howie Day song today.

Embarrassing, but this is my journal (sarcastic journal of sorts, remember?!) and I can be palm-on-face-red-in-the-ears honest. You probably guessed it right too, it was 'Collide.'

I was driving to do errands after I dropped my son off at school when the song began to play on my Spotify playlist. Yes, even mommies have Spotify!

I sing along.

The dawn is breaking / A light shining through / You're barely waking / And I'm tangled up in you

Sigh.

I keep singing. Then the chorus starts. I sing louder.

Even the best fall down sometimes / Even the wrong words seem to rhyme /Out of the doubt that fills my mind / I somehow find / You and I collide

Sigh. Sigh. Wait. Am I tearing up?!?!?!

Geez... the way he sings about this girl! It's unreal. But it happens I guess. Happened to some friends. Happened to my mom and dad. Happened to me. NAH. Happened to my mom and dad...

Sigh.

Realizing the dangerous path I'm treading, I quickly shrugged this off and blamed it on my HORMONES. I don't need a guy to feel this way about me. I have a little man who means the world to me and I to him. That's what matters. Right? Of course! I'm too old for the L word anyway. I'm too busy raising my boy for all that mush.

I taste BITTERNESS. Something I don't typically enjoy. I quickly changed my playlist to 'Today's Top Hits' and instantly cringe at the 'dirty lyrics.' I found myself bobbing to the beat. Nothing like nonsensical music to drown out the drama. Nice. And just like that, I felt better.

Later today, in the ladies room after dance class at the gym, I confirmed it.

I was, and still am, hormonal.

Sigh. Everything is right in the world again...as long as I stick with Today's Top Hits that is.