My 365-Day Journey to Mommy Abs Part 3: Day 66 Report

Hello blogging world! I've been gone a while, so much so that I feel I need a re-introduction. Sorry. I've been busy and sick and busy and sick. Ugh. Vicious cycle. I hope it ends soon. I must admit though that the workout strategy I came up with a month ago was JUST NOT SUSTAINABLE. Five times a week of yoga practice, twice a week of gym workouts, with a 9-hour job (and an upcoming event in both Manila and Davao) and mommy duties to a 4-year old...*sigh*... just too much for me.  I am happy to report though that I maintained (to a fairly decent degree) my healthy eating habits -- with cheat days of course -- and was able to finish my 11-kilometer run in an hour and 11 minutes and placed 7th in the female category! Woot woot! Although soon after the weekend run, I was in bed, sick and sore and in dire need of a break. P was down with really high fever coupled with cough and colds too and that just increased my stress level by over a gazillion. Ugh. With an overworked body that was running on only 4 hours of sleep on week days, my immune system was down and I caught the nasty flu-like virus that struck my little boy. Add to that the extremely schizophrenic Manila weather -- super hot and sunny half the day and gloomy and raining the next. Nasty.

P and I were transformed into kleenex-clinging, red-nosed, puffy-eyed zombies who say things like: "I deed du lie dowd dow. Id tayb for bed. Good dight." and "Bobby, by dose! I deed tissue!"

Needless to say, I had to stop working out. I HAD to rest. So I ended up not exercising for 2 weeks. No yoga and no gym. Aaaagh.... goodbye bobby abs.
My great plan backfired!
Good job, V!

Fortunately, my cold's not as bad anymore and I started going back to the gym this week. I went last Tuesday and again earlier today. I still have a bit of the sniffles but not as bad and I felt a little physical activity would help me feel better too. No yoga, just yet though. I MIGHT start tomorrow, depending on how well I'm feeling tomorrow morning. I NEED to listen to my body more now.

Going back, I bravely told my trainer this morning that although I have missed quite a number of sessions, a month has passed and it was time to check my stats. Eep.

So after being yoga and workout free for almost 2 weeks, here are the numbers:

Age: 35
Height: cuteness... okay fine, 4'11 3/4
Weight: 40 kilos (no change from August 14)
Fat Percentage: 21.3% (went down by 0.1% woohoo -- come on... don't burst my bubble)
Body Mass Index: 17.8 (no change from August 14)
Waistline: still 26.5 inches

The fact that I went down in fat percentage, albeit a super small fraction, and retained my BMI even if I was inactive for the past 2 weeks is something that I'm deliriously happy about. I have also come to realize that I should take it easy on my body too. Too much strain isn't good. Oh and the NOT sleeping part...ugh... that's just pure abuse. Sorry, I kinda went off course here. My usual 8pm bedtime became 10:30pm, which gave me only 4 hours of sleep max. DOT GOOD! Oops, NOT GOOD!

So starting this week I will be sleeping more, working out less and will maintain my "most-of-the-time-healthy-sometimes-slightly-unhealthy" eating habits. Let's see if this new scheme works out. *crossing my fingers*

Oh and just in case you're curious as to my gym workout, I asked my trainer to list down the exercises I have been doing. I've listed them below but please note that my trainer changes the exercises every so often to avoid muscle memory. For example, since I started my mommy abs project, my trainer has changed my ab routine a total of 5 times already. I do 3 sets of 15 per exercise and my trainer pairs most of the exercises and calls them super sets. Super sets mean that I get to do a set of 2 different types of exercises consecutively and I only get to rest after I finish a set of the paired exercises. Did I confuse you? Okay, here's an example. My trainer would let me do a set of 15 repetitions (reps) of pull ups. After which, I immediately get on the floor and do 15 reps of push ups. That's considered one set and he lets me rest before I do my 2nd set of pull ups and push ups. It's no walk in the park, especially the pull ups. Man, that gets me literally red in the face and gives me goosebumps. Not an exaggeration. However, earlier, since my trainer adjusted the weights on the pull ups machine, a.k.a. pure torture, I did only 10 pull ups per set but maintained the 15-rep push ups per set. So yes, my trainer can be flexible and is not the "King of Pain" I make him out to be.

• Lunges with trunk rotation
• Super set: Chin ups (Ugh...this is so hard) and push ups

Chin Ups

Push-Ups

• Super set: Sumo squats with wood chop and lateral raises

Sumo Squats with wood chop: 

starting position

Sumo Squats with Wood Chop:
end position

Lateral Raises: starting position

Lateral raises: end position
 (back view)

Lateral Raises: end position (front view with my
"I'm-in-pain look" =P) 

• Super set (for abs): Double crunches with ball and V-ups

Double Crunches with Ball

V Ups

• Super set: dumbbell curl and lying tricep extension

I finish all these in 45-50 minutes with stretching before and after our session.
I run on the treadmill for 30 minutes after weight training and usually do about 4 kilometers per run.
I also do an hour of hiphop dance class at least once a week -- just because it's fun!

So there, after 66 days I can say that I have learned a lot about my body's limits. It is a hit and miss thing but it's a process and I'm learning. I'll get there in time. I have 299 days more to go so I'm not in panic mode just yet. But then again, the holidays are coming -- oh and all the eating and drinking that comes with it. Nyikes! :) Oh well, I'll cross the bridge when I get there.

'Til my next post!

Oh and a quick shout out to my readers from Turkey! I was pleasantly surprised to see that I have gotten quite a number of hits from Turkey the past week. Even more than my Philippine readers. Yes, that much! This is such a delight, which intrigued me, so much so, that I'm planning to do a slight detour from my originally planned 2015 Laos trip to go to Turkey instead. Weee! Of course I need to do some more research on backpacking in this country but I'm so excited! Tips, anyone?

Bye for now! :)

Womanity

Pinterest just gets me...all the time! ;)

Back in the day, when I didn’t use a hyphen to spell my name, I thought that being a wife and a mother would make me a complete woman. I thought that THAT was the missing piece and once I become a wife and mother, I’d be happy… and complete. So I waited. And waited.  And waited for the right man to come my way. He would marry me and give me a child and we would have a happy family. Such bliss! Tsk tsk tsk. If only I can go back in time, I’d give the past me a good slap and a lengthy lecture on the realities of life and perception of self-worth. If only…

I got married at a ripe age of 31. I figured, marrying young was a sure way to screw things up so needless to say, I took my time. Well, at least now I know I could've been 60 and still fail. I dated and kissed a lot of frogs (8 in total) hoping each time that my frog would magically turn into a prince. Well, no such transformation took place. They weren’t frogs to begin with and I was no princess either. I was never really afraid of NOT finding the one. I would get anxious at times but deep down I had this strange confidence about me. Like I somehow knew HE was out there. Yup, my own fairy tale prince. I know. An ice bucket challenge would've done me some good back then. But I had a list. A checklist of key things to look for in a partner. They were pretty standard although some items were down right funny but there was practical logic behind them. I'll share them in my Top 10 list next time just for laughs.

Believe it or not… I did not use my 'fool-proof list' in evaluating boyfriend #8 – also known as 'the One.' Not his fault. It was mine. I got married after just months of dating him. Lesson learned -- in a whirlwind romance the list gets lost in the twister. The wind took the list away and made me believe I did not need it. I felt this was it and list or no list, I would make it work. I HAVE to make it work. I enjoyed the breeze – well until the breeze got too strong and blew me away. Sigh. But a list does not guarantee a good marriage either. A great partnership and love and mutual respect and prayers -- a lot of prayers...hopefully done together -- might make things work. That's a theory I have yet to prove but I have a pretty good feeling about it. Oh and not jumping into it...yeah. Definitely a long engagement. Paging my daddy. I hope he reads my blog! :)  

I also learned that motherhood does not make you a woman either. It changes you and makes you a better person. Yes. But it doesn't make you a woman. Being a wife and having a partner doesn’t complete you either. Nope, sometimes, if you're unlucky, it even breaks you. Having a career doesn’t guarantee success. It can pay your bills and buy you stuff but I think success is more about a sense of fulfillment. Blogging isn't my career but I find so much fulfillment in doing this. Yay! Who would've thunk! A degree will not make you wiser and having great role models does not guarantee you'll inherit their wedded bliss either.  

The 35-year old me now believes that womanity is about finding strength in perceived weakness. Resilience with gentleness and grace. It's having the resolve to regain what was lost. Getting your heart broken and healing and moving on. It is about having scars and wearing them with pride being grateful for the constant reminders that what was once broken gets stronger when it mends. It’s about loving fearlessly and unconditionally. Womanity is about accepting your faults. Having the courage and humility to admit you screwed up; the courage to face the consequences; and the strength to make things right. It’s about independence. Earning your keep and being the best at what you do, regardless of its complexity. It’s about sharpening the saw despite your age or how dull you perceive you have gotten. It’s loving the fat in your body, embracing your double A bra-size, looking at your wrinkles and thinking you look wiser with them. It's loving yourself enough to treat your body with respect by eating right and keeping it healthy. It's believing that sexy is a state of mind and that you are beautiful because you simply are. Womanity is empowerment. It’s finding peace in a chaotic imperfect world. It’s choosing happiness in spite of seemingly unfortunate circumstances. 

I may stand a quarter of an inch below the 5 foot mark, look 22, to some 16, or even 12 in gym clothes, but I am a woman and I embrace my womanity. I may not have come full circle yet but I know I'm getting there. 

Jem and Womanity

A big hug to my friend Jem for introducing me to the word WOMANITY and helping me reflect on its essence. You are even more beautiful now, dear. Your pain makes your smile sweeter and your struggles make you stronger. I love you and your pursuit for true beauty. Mish and I are here for you...always. BIOMAN forever! :P

Womanity: Pursuing True Beauty

by JCI Makati, Princess Urduja Chapter

August 30, 9am-4pm

3/F CCF A. Venue Mall, Makati

Proceeds of the event will be used in providing free therapy and support to women and children of the City of Makati and the Women’s Crises Center in Quezon City

My 365-Day Journey to Mommy Abs Part 2: Day 41

Hello there! It’s been a while since my last post. Sorry, it’s been crazy busy. But I am happy and excited to report my progress after 41 days of small (and quite frequent) diet fails and big exercise and fitness victories. The eating part is really the challenge. The exercise is the fun part for me.

I was asked to post some ‘before’ photos (eep) so I’ll indulge. I’ll even add a photo taken December of last year when P and I went to Jakarta for our safari adventure Part 2. We had so much fun! P was in a schizo-funny mix fix of pure delight and absolute terror during our animal-feeding adventure. My BFF, whom I fondly call Sissy, posted some of our photos on Facebook. As I excitedly checked the photos she posted, I became more and more aware of the truth that stared right back at me -- I have lost my abs and my gut was showing. I wasn’t even ‘heavy looking’ back then but my midsection slapped me awake from my exercise-free fairy tale of a life. So March of this year, I decided it was time to make a change. I went back to the gym and made time to train regularly (3 times a week).

 

December 2013, Taman Safari
The photo that made me go... "Oh no."

I also took a month and a half long sabbatical from work and spent this time sharpening the saw. I focused on my son and on self-improvement. I went to the gym, cooked, did a bit of local backpack travelling, spent a lot of time with my little boy, had LASIK surgery and I started to rekindle my love for writing by blogging. I went from having a muffin top to getting barely-there abs. Happy.

 

During my sabbatical
Slimmer and smaller waist. Sigh.
No use crying over spilled milk.

The Wedding Workout (got this from Pinterest)
It's on my fridge door and I used to do this after my lime and coconut habit
in the morning on my non-gym days, just before taking a shower.

Then I started work and that meant waking up at 2 am, having a confused body clock, skipping gym, not doing my wedding workout (my early morning, 20-minute, before shower exercise routine on my non-gym days) and having a grand time trying out all the restaurants near the office. I went from barely-there abs to a ‘my-gut-is-showing-must-wear-loose-tee’ midsection. From a 39.1kg, 19.8% fat percentage and a body mass index of 17.1 … I became a 40 kg, 21.4% fat percentage, 17.8 BMI and a waistline of 26.5 inches. Not bad, considering the amount of food I consumed. I know. Everyday I thank God for blessing me with genes that have a faster-than-average metabolism and a blog that constantly reminded me that I was on my journey to getting Anne Curtis abs. But I know that if I'm not careful, I'll end up with a bigger midsection and I'd kiss my dream of mommy abs goodbye. 

 

post-workout photo
21.4% fat percentage
17.8 BMI
waist: 26.5 inches

This thingamajig is what my trainer used to get my fat percentage and BMI.
He did a bit of math on paper too.
He took into account my age, height and weight and we did this before my workout.

After weeks of regular weight training with a personal trainer, a promising yoga practice and a daily lunch box of fruits and veggies, I lost some water weight, got stronger (my trainer and I can attest to my renewed abs and overall strength) and I trimmed my midsection by half an inch already. A small victory but I love celebrating small victories.  My waistline is now 26 inches and I’m back to wearing my tight shirts. I know I can slim this down to 25. I know I can. I will.

 

Taken yesterday after my post-workout dinner of fruits and veggies
Half-an inch trimmer in the tummy area...celebrate small victories! =)

I also indulge. Eep. I still eat chocolate more often than I’d like to admit. I just had a 500 g steak and mashed potatoes with Mishy last Friday with a Frey’s dark chocolate, lemon and pepper bar and a glass of wine to boot because I was feeling extra bleh. I later learned that I was surfing the crimson wave and was extremely hormonal, which explained my wild red-meat and dark chocolate food cravings. I also had 3 J Co coco loco donuts last week not in one go but still… I know… carbs and sugar galore! I went on a coffee date with Mishy yesterday and we split a grande drip and a salted caramel double chocolate cookie. Yup, we are such cheapskates! We split the coffee and the cookie to save on cash and calories. Hahaha! Single moms can be savvy like that.

 

Myron's 500g Angus Steak

The best PMS medicine

Me and Mish at Myron's
She won't do yoga with me because she CLAIMS
she can't stay in a hot room and NOT TALK for 90 minutes!
I think she can take the heat but the 'no talking' part would really be a challenge. Lol

I eat healthy on most days. I win 5 out 7 so I celebrate grandly on my cheat days…yes I choose to have 2 cheat days and not just 1. But I’m sticking to my routine of yoga and weight training and the occasional dance class. I also recently signed up for a 6.6k run and I’m really psyched! I feel great and my midsection’s a lot tighter. Weight training has improved my overall physicality and yoga has given me a straighter back and a clearer, calmer mind set. My dance classes just make me feel young and extra cool not withstanding the buckets I sweat out. Paco has been eating healthier and we do yoga poses at home together. His eagle pose is hilarious! P just cracks me up! He also rides his bike in the park and plays in the playground while I do yoga on the weekends. Even my little boy has an active weekend lifestyle. I’m glad he gets to play out rather than his usual weekend TV veg-ing.

I like the new me and I will make an effort to keep this healthy lifestyle. It’s not easy and sticking to a routine can be a challenge but I know the health benefits are worth investing on. Until my next mommy abs update... stay healthy! 

Serendipity of the Car Wash Kind

It’s another desolate Paco-free Sunday. I woke up at 6am to missed calls and text messages from the couple I was supposed to meet Saturday night. Oof! I fell asleep!!! Ugh. SORRY Nyel and Val. This old lady who feels lethargic after 8pm will make it up to you…promise.

After kicking myself for being such a flaker –an unintentional one – but a flaker nonetheless, I did my morning lime and coconut ritual and got ready for church. I went with my Mama Lyn (my beloved yaya) and P’s yaya and was deeply blessed by the pastor’s sermon --‘The Joy in Freedom.’ One of the analogies he used was marriage and narrated how a woman can feel trapped in a bad marriage. Sigh. That’s exactly how I felt back then – TRAPPED. I don’t want to go into the details as this might not be smart for my annulment but I realized that the reason why my view of marriage is so negative is because mine was a stifling cage. It’s sad, but it’s true. P’s dad wasn’t a wife beater or a cheat. No. He was not. He's a decent man but our relationship was one you could easily call unhealthy. I know I’m going to get into a lot of trouble for saying that but it’s true. I’m a bit scared now but Dr. Johnson's words ring loudly in my ear... "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" 

It’s over, although not entirely, but the freedom I am experiencing now is enough to let my heart and spirit breathe. I am alive again and for that, I am truly grateful. Freedom is underrated and madly overlooked...until you lose it. My wish for my friends who are about to get married and to you, dear reader, whatever your situation may be, may you live in freedom and love. And may you seriously ponder over the idea of spending forever with your special someone -- a gazillion times over -- before you tie the knot. It really is no joke and that is NOT just a line people use to scare you. It’s freakin’ real. Trust me.

So anyhow, I made myself a quick lunch of brown rice and vegetables after church. I have been eating healthy the past week and my tummy is a lot trimmer now. YAY!!! Since it was still a bit early for my 3pm yoga practice, I decided it was time to give Puto (yes, I named my car) a much-needed wash. There was a queue at the nearby carwash but one of the attendants ushered me into their air conditioned waiting lounge. Nice! There were 2 other guys in the lounge, one was having a meal (the lounge served bagnet and vigan longganisa – YUM) and the other, older gentleman was busy texting on his phone. I chose the table nearest the window and away from the two men. I brought my laptop out, ready to start blogging when I heard someone speak – and it sounded like he was talking to me. I thought it weird but I looked up nonetheless.

“Are you a student?”

It was the elderly gentleman asking me.

“I’m sorry, sir?”

“Are you a student?” he asked me again smiling.

“Oh no, sir. I’m not” I answered also with a smile.

“You look very young. You look 16,” he replied still smiling.

He was wearing shorts, a tshirt and a sling bag. He had thinning white hair and a friendly smile. He was, I later found out, 61 years old, has 4 grown kids and had just  lost his dear wife to cancer 5 months ago.

“I’m 35 years old and I have a 4-year old, sir.” I said correcting him nicely. I realized I did look 16 in my denim shorts, comfy 9-year old Team Manila tshirt, flip flops and ponytail.

“No! You’re lying!” He looked genuinely shocked. I was taken aback too. No one has ever called me a liar before. People would look shocked or make this puzzled face when I would correct them about my age but no one has ever blatantly said I was lying.  

“No…you’re not a liar but your face is. You look so young. Just like my 30 year old daughter. She also looks 16.” He quickly explained.

There was a pause and I smiled at him trying to assure him I wasn’t hurt by the lying comment.

“She’s getting married in January.” He added rather proudly.

That’s how our car wash conversation started.

Mr. R is a semi-retired educator from a prestigious university in the country. He told me the names of the senators and governors he taught. Even the president was in his high school class. He beamingly told me about his children, all grown up and making names for themselves. He showed me pictures of his beautiful family. He was such a sweet man. He told me about his dear wife too and how cancer took her life and how devastated he is now and how he misses her everyday.  He grabbed his phone and showed me a prayer he made for her while waiting for his car to get cleaned. He said he was typing it just before he started to converse with me (I thought he was texting!) It was a beautiful prayer.

“I talk to her everyday. I talk to her in my prayers. You know, Velvet, it’s very difficult. My eldest son sleeps in the room with me because I don’t want to be alone. It’s very difficult… but I’m coping.” He said struggling to smile.

I felt his pain. It was raw and real and strong -- too strong that even I can feel it – piercing gut-wrenching pain. I can feel my eyes starting to sting but I fight back the tears. I will not cry in a carwash.

This was the same grief, same pain, same struggle my dad went through nine years ago when my mom passed. I wanted to hug Mr. R and tell him things will get better in time and that his heart will heal. But we’re not a hugging culture so I just grabbed his hand and told him I understood his pain. I told him about my dad and how he was when my mom died and now, nine years later, he has a girlfriend and is extremely in love and happy. He said he’ll move on someday. I know in my heart that he will but it will be a long arduous journey.

He told me about his house and all the empty rooms he’s trying to renovate. Empty nest. That must suck. Empty nest experienced by a lone parent -- major joy-zapper. Paco must never marry. Sigh. I am kidding of course. Half-meant. 

We exchanged numbers and promised to meet for coffee one of these days. I quickly paid the bill and rushed to Makati to go to yoga practice as I was already running late. 

As I drove along EDSA – thank God traffic was particularly light – I play back Mr R’s words. He was a broken man struggling to keep it together. I say a short prayer for him and his children.

Two hours later, as I shower after yoga practice my thoughts run back to Mr. R. This was a man who loved true and deeply. I think back on all the relationships I had. As the tepid water washes the soap suds away from my body, it hits me. No, I haven’t loved as much and as deeply as he had. Not one of the eight relationships I had in the past, not once did I truly love the way Mr. R loved his wife. That’s just sad and unfair. Yes, I was unfair – unfair to all 8 of my exes including the one I married. Sigh. True love shouldn't end. True love doesn't end.

But how will you know if love is real?

Will you ever know?

I adjust the water temperature. I need to wake myself up from this revelry. As the cold water hits my spine, I instantly snap out of my emo-filled musings. I quickly dress and call my friend Hannah for a last-minute food recharge. We agree to meet up for an early dinner. I grab a banana from a nearby 711 and I wait for Hannah to text me. As a bide my time watching the empty streets of Paseo de Roxas, the day’s learnings disturb my furiously active brain. The love Mr. R had for his wife… that’s the kind of love marriage should be built on. If only people who married loved as he did, then maybe married people can live in peace and happiness. They wouldn’t feel trapped. In fact the loss of the partner would be devastating and not liberating. Oops, that didn’t sound right. I’m not saying that all married people live in tyranny and grief – maybe a handful don’t – yes, a handful…okay… it can be a pretty big hand. But anyhow, Mr R’s love – I’ll call it the 'car wash love' (okay it's corny but I'm claiming a trump card of literary sarcastic indulgence) – is the kind that happy blissful marriages have. The kind that transcends life and death. 

I wonder how Mr. R met the wife? 

What was their married life like? 

How long did they date before they tied the knot?

I check my phone and was pleasantly surprised to see that Mr. R has sent me a message.

“Hi, Velvet. Glad to have met somebody nice today. I know you are quite busy because of the nature of your work. Just the same, to reiterate what I told you earlier, when you have free time let’s get together for a cup of coffee. Bring your daughter along.”

I should’ve showed him P’s photo. He’ll get to meet my SON soon anyway. I check my calendar -- full except for Thursday. Cool! I’m going to find out more about the secret to ‘car wash love’ in 4 days. I can't wait.